Unemployed friend crowdsources funds for move

DEAR HARRIETTE: A longtime -- but not necessarily close -- buddy of mine has struggled financially for the entire time that I’ve known her. This year, she told me that she is making it her mission to move out of our college town to a city where she can start fresh. She has decided to move to Los Angeles. She started a GoFundMe to fund her travel needs, security deposit, and first and last month’s rent for an apartment in the city. She told me she doesn’t have a job lined up, but she believes she will be able to find something fairly quickly when she arrives.

I think it’s foolish of her to move to the most expensive city in America without a plan, and I also refuse to make a donation for her living arrangements. I myself can’t afford to live in Los Angeles, and I have a job. Am I wrong for not supporting this move? -- Be Realistic

DEAR BE REALISTIC: You have every right to invest your money as you choose. This decision sounds reckless based on your friend’s history. Rather than simply not contributing, you may want to speak to your friend. You can tell her what you think about her latest idea. Don’t simply shoot it down. Instead, remind her of how expensive it is to live in Los Angeles. Recommend that she take the time to secure a job before moving. Alternatively, you can suggest that she slow down and develop a strategy for her life rather than jumping up and moving so quickly.

It is likely that your friend will do whatever she wants, but as someone who cares for her, you can at least let her know what you believe is best for her.

Then leave it alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Before my injury, I would go for two runs a day. I get a huge adrenaline rush from running, and it’s one of the things I look forward to the most when I get off work. Now that I am injured, I was told that I would have to go through months of physical therapy before I can even think about running again. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been on crutches, and I can feel the depression setting in. I feel that a big part of me is missing. All I can do is sit around and wait to heal. How do I cope with my favorite hobby being taken away from me? -- Avid Runner

DEAR AVID RUNNER: Injuries can be hard to manage because the healing time is almost always longer than is comfortable. To the best of your ability, look at the big picture. How long does your doctor say it will be before you can run again? Mark that date on your calendar and start counting down the days. Ask your physical therapist what activities you can participate in as you lead up to running again. You probably don’t have to be completely still. In fact, that’s probably not encouraged. If you are able, start walking each day. Over time, you can build up your endurance and strength.

With a timeline in mind, you may be able to ward off the depression. If that doesn’t help, seek psychological counseling. You may need that mental health boost while you are going through rehabilitation.

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Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.